Adjustments

August 11 2006: I think I have fallen in love with Roma... when we got off the train bright and early, I couldn't even believe the sights I was seeing. I was awe-struck. Here we were at 6:30am... driving from the station... with some of the world's oldest and most monumental sights just passing us by... (Written in my travel journal on my first day, ever, in Italy.)

Before I left Canada, while procrastinating for exams, I took the time to go through my travel journal that I wrote in religiously during my first journey through Europe, straight after high school. I had some pretty strong impressions of Italy from the moment we first arrived. A dear friend and I had spent the night making friends with a fellow traveller on a night train from Nice to Rome and arrived in Rome groggy and exhilarated. We made a lot of oblivious-tourist mistakes during that first trip of ours to Italy. I feel incredible that five years after I wrote those words I would be making a trip to Rome for work.

I arrived in Rome the other day about 4 hours early for my workshop to become an examiner for English language exams because I wanted to retrace the tourist steps I had taken in 2006 and then again in 2008. I wanted to do this for nostalgia, to see if I could remember the way and because, when in Rome… it’s hard to resist being a wide-eyed tourist!

It’s always different to be in a country to live versus being a tourist. I think Italy has one of the biggest dichotomies between “tourism Italy” and “la vita quotidiana.” Or maybe I am feeling this way because when I was in Belgium I was living in the student-bubble and when I was in France I was living with expats. Whatever the reason, the experience that I have just begun feels the most authentic… and the most challenging.

Let me preface the proceeding anecdotes with this assurance: every challenge that I am facing in Italy, I am beyond happy to face. Granted, in the heat of some of the more trying moments, I want to pull my hair out, but in the end, living in Caserta is exactly where I want to be right now. Gio and I are still in the “I can’t believe you are in front of me” phase. I have traded spending time alone in my room in Vancouver talking to someone across the world for constant and intense Italian interactions, not just with Gio but with his entire family who all lives under one roof. I am still getting used to the idea that Gio and I won’t be ripped apart again by thousands of kilometers.

I feel extremely lucky to land in a foreign country with a whole support network who is not only here for me, but who has already sorted out the vast majority some of life’s most difficult issues, such as a job and a way to get to said job (Senore fiat cinquecento!) Knowing people here allows me to do things like bypass a room full of mostly North Africans trying to sort out their citizenship and go straight into the office of a friend of a friend who tells me exactly what to do in less than 10 minutes and to come back if I need more help.  Italy is a country which revolves around nepotism and social obligations, therefore having connections here is vital. I’m in a privileged position.

That being said, the social obligation dance here in Italy is going to take some practice. There are so many steps to learn and at the moment I’m feeling at a loss in certain situations. In many occasions my lack of fluent Italian is a hindrance but in other occasions it blatantly displays my naïveté to the social norms and therefore (I hope) some of my behaviours are more easily excused.  A good example of this happened in Rome, when my workshop ran (of course) overtime. My boss came to meet me in Rome (for reasons still unknown to me, but I am assuming it had something to do with this social dance that I’m still figuring out) and while I was rushing out of the meeting he was standing there talking on the phone. I told his friend (still not sure who she was, either!) that we really needed to go catch our train and we were feeling really anxious. There was no clear response to my clearly distressed (panicked) face and gesticulations, so my colleague and I just ran off and took a taxi to the Termini station. When my boss casually showed up at Termini about fifteen minutes after us, he seemed annoyed and told me that he made the trek to Rome for me. The start of our train ride was extremely awkward. I felt really bad about running off but really annoyed and confused because I didn’t know what the protocol was, and I wasn’t about to miss my train to find out. I talked to my colleague about it, who’s from England and has been living in Italy for almost seven years, and she still wasn’t sure what the right thing to do was either. She was pretty sure that what we did was rude, though. In the end, because of my rudimentary Italian, I simply apologized for “being too nervous in Rome” which was about all I knew how to explain. He seemed content with this. I think I’m in the clear because he bought me a pineapple juice afterwards.

The contrary of that situation, where my simple Italian seems to be sufficient (for the moment), is the on-going linguistic and cultural battle with Gio’s nonna. She’s an incredibly sweet lady but I am finding it very hard to communicate with her for multiple reasons. First of all, she doesn’t hear well. Second of all, she seems to be unable to understand 95% of what I say (even when I know I am saying it correctly!). Third of all, she doesn’t leave the house hardly at all, so she is very curious about what is going on inside the house. It’s hard to satisfy the curiosity of someone who can’t hear or understand you. As I was running around in the morning to leave for an 8-hour journey to Cervia to invigilate an English competition for schoolchildren, the nonna was talking at me and clearly distressed about where I was going and when I would be back. I tried to tell her “Vado a lavoro. Lavoro a Cervia per tre giorni. Devo mangiare e poi devo andare!” but she wasn’t having any of it. I basically had to leave the house while she was yelling after me. I had to phone Gio to tell him to phone her and tell her what was going on. Communication problems tend to intensify when in a hurry…

The adjustments to life here in Italy have only just begun. I haven’t even gotten into the adjustments required for working in Italy but that will have to wait until next time!


On ne découvre pas de terre nouvelle sans consentir à perdre de vue, d'abord et longtemps, tout rivage. (Gide)

Stay tuned and post comments or questions!